A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day. A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor! Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid! There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said.
Let me end by saying this: Under no circumstances is sarcasm to be used by a teacher — ever. I give my snappy comebacks only to certain students 3 with a smile on my face and a wink — the undertone of which is always — always — you can do better than that.
The Comeback Kid movie poster — photo taken from www. Skip to main Skip to footer. November Excuses for late or missing work have been with us since the ancient Greeks.
Themistocles: Oh my, I believe I left it on the aquaduct… or was it at the agora? If your mother looks like I do. Adapted from: www.
Rule 1 with jokes: know your audience. More about November If you miss one or more classes in a day, most schools will make calls home, usually at the end of the day. The best way around this is to be a hawk by the telephone when you get home, or to come clean to your parents ahead of time and come up with a good excuse to get away with it. Jones messed up attendance today, he told us to tell you that everyone would be getting those automated calls, but that I was in class.
Method 2. Schedule an appointment for that class. The best ways of getting out of class are always the most legitimate ways. Next time you have to go to the doctor, the dentist, or make some other kind of appointment, make sure you schedule it for the day and the time of the class you hate the most, so you'll be able to miss it. You won't have to sneak around if it's for real.
If your parent usually schedules appointments for you, go ahead and do it yourself before they give you the chance to go back out to the waiting room. Then make like everything's already taken care of. Get a pass from another teacher. In middle and high school, some teachers will write up passes for students to work on group projects in their classroom, especially during study hall, or other break periods, if the project is especially important.
In some cases, you might be able to convince one teacher that your break period is actually during another time than it actually is, and get them to write a pass for you to leave the class you don't like.
Then just leave. This can be dangerous, if you have teachers who talk a lot. Try to get teachers from different departments, like a shop teacher and a math teacher, who may not be likely to communicate with one another. Ask to go to the library. Depending on the class you're trying to get out of, you may have a more legitimate reason to leave than you originally thought. If you're annoying about being in a particular class, tell your teacher that you do better work in the library, and ask if you can go study there instead some day.
Teachers are likely to be surprised by this, and you might win a free hour in the library, without having to beat around the bush about it.
Ask to see the guidance counsellor. If you're upset about something, or if you feel like you need to be missing class for a more serious reason, ask to go talk to the guidance counsellor.
It doesn't have to be anything big: maybe you're just feeling stressed about school and about your ability to handle the pressure. That's what guidance counsellors are there for.
Tell your teacher that you're really upset, but be vague. Talk quietly and seriously, right before class, and ask if they'll allow you to go talk to the guidance counsellor instead of coming to class today. If you have to come up with an excuse, try to think of something they'll be unable to verify. No dead grandmothers. Try something like, "I think I might be having a panic attack," instead.
Have your parent call you in. Maybe you've got strict parents, but you never know until you ask. If you've got a real bummer of a class period coming up, ask one of your more lenient parents if they'll call you out for a class period sometime.
You might get lucky once or twice. Sometime, try doing a little research by asking one or both of your parents if they ever cut class when they were younger. Dig up some good stories, then use this for leverage later. If you find out your dad used to cut all the time because his math teacher was totally boring, start playing up how dull your math teacher is, and how you wish you could just come home and spend time cleaning up instead of going to class. Easy call-out. Method 3.
Call yourself a pass out. The morning before you go to school, put on a good fake voice, call the office, and call yourself a pass to leave school that day for an appointment of some kind. Pose as your mother or father, and use the specific date and time that you need to be absent from school. In the morning, pick up the hall pass and leave at the time. Better yet, get someone else to make the call for you.
Older siblings, cousins, or friends are all good bets. Make sure the office workers don't know your parents very well, or they're likely to recognize your voice and figure out that it's not them.
Use a phony pass or slip. The next time you get a hall pass for real, take it home and make a Photocopy. Use white out to change the info date, and then re-photocopy the blank one to have a cache of fakes that you can use, and give to other kids. Be sure to use the same color and style of pen or pencil in the original color that the note was written. If you have a friend who does not know your teacher then have them use the "bathroom" and deliver it from the "office" at some point to make it extra convincing.
Fake a seizure. If you've got to get into serious anti-class warfare, then you can still keep a few serious tricks up your sleeve.
Faking a seizure should only be used in the case of serious moments, like if you've totally forgotten to study for a test, or have forgotten a project that's worth a life-time of points, or something. To fake a seizure, try the following, at your own risk: Subtly complain about feeling "faint" or "weird" just before class. Breathe heavily and go to the bathroom before class starts to wet your head slightly, giving yourself a very sweaty look.
Wait for awhile then give a spaced out look if you're going to pass out. Go gradually limp if you are going to pass out then fall down to the floor, as realistically as possible. If you are doing a seizure, fall to the ground and start convulsing and doing random uncontrolled movements.
Drool on yourself. Most seizures won't last long, just a minute or two, but it's still important to not over-sell it so you'll start laughing or otherwise give yourself away. When you're done, grunt and make your eyes go wide as if you're in pain.
When everyone looks at you, all freaked out, say, "What happened? Never break serious rules or laws to get out of class. It's commonly thought that pulling fire alarms or making anonymous threats to the office are good ways to get out of school.
0コメント